Re-entry into the real world has commenced!

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Earlier today …

This morning we commenced Holly’s birthday celebrations with a family brunch together down at Balmoral. I felt like some sort of small animal coming out into the sunlight after a long hibernation! It was so nice to be out and about, and even better to walk along the beach promenade there. As Tom pointed out, while still slower than my usual self, I am moving WAY faster than I was in hospital, and am now able to stand up straight too. Yes, I am making progress! Doesn’t feel like it much on a day to day basis, but when I think back to how I was just a few weeks ago, yes, I can see more clearly that I am improving slowly but surely. Hooray for that – keep it coming!

Going gently … (one month post surgery)

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Tomorrow it will be one month since my surgery. Seems like a lifetime ago in some ways. I’m so relieved that the shadow of the upcoming surgery that was hanging over me for so many months is now gone. I must say that the operation and hospital experience was  much more painful, scary and intense than I thought it would be. I really didn’t like being so dependent on others for just about everything – getting up, food, medication, dressing, bathing, everything!. The scary part was sometimes I’d press the buzzer and the nurses would be busy so it would take quite some time before I actually received my medication. Agony! And that would make me so anxious in itself, not knowing when the pain relief was going to arrive … It’s all just a swirl of emotion now and I’m so glad that bit is behind me!

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Silver linings … and more girl talk

"Soar high" by my sister, Paula

“Soar high” by my sister, Paula

I received a lovely email yesterday from an old friend, in which he said:  “I’m sure you’ll look back in a few years and reflect on this time as one of enormous growth and a period which has given you such a different and important way of thinking. I guess that’s often the beauty of challenging times and this silver lining comes to us all a bit later on. Life is an interesting old journey isn’t it?”

Well, it sure is! I think I have learned more in the last two years about how life works than I have in the previous fifty! And yes, one of my learnings is that in hard times there is always a reason for them, and a lesson (or two or three or more!) to be learned.

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Keeping it in perspective

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My photographer friend, Cameron Bloom and his lovely wife Sam

While I have found this year to be a challenging one for me, there is always someone struggling with a heavier load. Some of you may be aware of Sam Bloom’s very sad story – she is married to Cameron Bloom, the lovely photographer we used for many years for our photo shoots when I had my fashion business, pink zebra. Tragically, Sam had a terrible accident, falling through a faulty balcony rail in Thailand while on holiday with their young family in January this year and she is now paralysed from the chest down.

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Progress … slow and steady

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I remember in those special times of my life when I was engaged to be married, and later pregnant with each of our children, that I’d wake up each morning with a happy feeling that something GOOD was happening for me. And as I slowly came to my senses, I’d think, “Something good… oh yeah, we’re getting married/ having a baby!” I always started those days with a smile.

Nowadays I wake up with a feeling of  ”What is this again? Oh yeah.. the operation”. This is NOT a feeling of joy! Usually I just lie there thinking “WHY did I inflict this on myself??! It is SO uncomfortable and I am SO tired and I REALLY do not like taking all of these drugs and I REALLY don’t like having to be so reliant on everyone to look after me….” and generally have a bit of a pity party for myself. Then I slowly become awake enough to open my journal, and vent all of that sadness on to the pages.

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Girl talk (aka “how my body is healing up”)

"Femininity" by Martha 2004

“Femininity” by Martha 2004

This post is mainly for us women, especially those who have had, or who are contemplating having a similar surgery to mine. I don’t mind at all if you men read it, but I’m just alerting you that this is the “Sarah’s bosoms” update for anyone who is interested. It’s light weight but I don’t want anyone thinking “Whoa! Too much information!” And no, there are no photos of my breasts! I’m happy for anyone and everyone to read if interested, just giving you the heads up on what is to follow!

Anyway, two and a bit weeks after my surgery, here’s how my body is going …

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WITH GRATITUDE …

begin each day with a grateful heart

Today marks two weeks since my surgery and my fourth day out of hospital. I have never been so glad to be home! I wasn’t really conscious of it while I was in there, but now that I’m home, the peaceful contrast is amazing – it is so noisy in hospital! Trolleys clattering past, people chatting in the hallways, let alone the incessant parade of people in and out of my room with meals, blood pressure and temperature checks, medication deliveries, injections, wound dressing changes, cleaners, surgeon’s visits etc etc etc going on every hour of the day (and much of the night too!). So it is wonderful to be home, back in my own quiet space, relishing every little thing like being able to have a cup of tea in my own familiar cup – heaven!

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Drum roll …. we have departed!!

Yeah!!! Hooray for being out in Sydney sunshine. Thank you St V’s!! 😊😊😊

MASTECTOMY and RECONSTRUCTION – how does it feel from the inside?

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Here I am at Day Nine post surgery. And now planning on going home tomorrow- yeah! When the doctors told me there would be a 12 week recovery period post surgery, I thought they were being a bit ridiculous, but now that I’ve been through it, I think I will be taking every minute of that time to just lie around, pamper myself like never before and let myself heal, heal, heal!

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Slowly, gently moving forward

This is one of my favorite quotes which inspired this painting of mine earlier this year. And I guess it best describes how I’m feeling today. Very tired, very sore but also confident that I’m headed in the right direction!

I think for most of this past week I have just been a physical & emotional wreck. Functioning, passing all the key milestones but just feeling like I have been on some sort of scary alien planet!

However, today is another story and I’m feeling like I’m coming back to being me. Dazed, battered, bruised but underneath it all, still me! Energy levels are still v low, so special thanks to my husband for keeping you all updated.

Anyway, a week down the track from surgery things are slowly coming back into focus & I’m getting into the swing of the (v busy!) hospital routine. Hoping to be home by the weekend but no pressure. Just taking each day as it comes.

Bring on the pain relief, bring on the healing & being on the peace!

With much love & thanks for all of your messages. I’m reading them all but no energy to respond. I will get there!

Sarah
💗💚💜

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