I have returned from my lovely week in Noosa. Such a special time, being in so many of Martha’s favorite places, with some of her favorite people too. I had a lovely dawn walk with her ex boyfriend Tom, along the very beautiful Sunshine Beach as well as dinner and a morning beach walk with her dear friend Doris too.
On the morning of the 10th I also released the last of Lou’s ashes, to be with Martha’s, there on Sunshine Beach. We didn’t know it at the time, but after we did that for Martha, I found out that the headland there is called “Paradise Rocks”, so I love thinking about my sisters being there in Paradise right here on earth. And I know from my experience with Martha, that by keeping her top of mind each day, her memory and spirit live on with me, always. I feel Lou with me now daily too, wise and gentle, guiding me along. It’s not the same as having them here in real life, but I do feel their presences and carry them in my heart.
After Martha passed away, for a very long time, I had a little voice inside me calling out, “Come back! Come back!” It makes me tear up even now as I type that, remembering that dreadfully sad time. Then, the little voice changed to “She’s gone. She’s gone!” for many months as I came to terms with knowing Martha wasn’t coming back. Not to this life anyway. Truly I have never been through anything nearly as devastating or more life changing than losing Martha. But I know now she’s not lost, she’s still here alongside me, just in a different realm. And Lou is here with me too. Both of them for always. When I let the last of Lou’s ashes drift in to the water, that little voice inside me called out tearfully and loudly, “Bye, Lou! Bye!”. So sad, but I’m also braver now, letting the last of my special sister go to be with Martha.
And through all of my journey of letting my sisters go, I’ve been supported and encouraged by my dear friend Louise, always so kind and wise, so it was special too that Louise was with me, as I performed that final ceremony for Lou. Such an honor to be able to do that for my family, and send the last earthly parts of Lou on their way, knowing that she’s safe and peaceful up there in heaven now with Martha. God bless my two beautiful and brave sisters, always together now, in heaven and on earth.