While I have found this year to be a challenging one for me, there is always someone struggling with a heavier load. Some of you may be aware of Sam Bloom’s very sad story – she is married to Cameron Bloom, the lovely photographer we used for many years for our photo shoots when I had my fashion business, pink zebra. Tragically, Sam had a terrible accident, falling through a faulty balcony rail in Thailand while on holiday with their young family in January this year and she is now paralysed from the chest down.
Much of Sam’s story has been told on the facebook page set up to raise funds for her rehabilitation.
If you read Sam’s post of September 10, it gives you a very honest and inspiring insight into her life now, with Cameron and their three young boys. Sam has a tremendous fighting spirit and I am sure will make the best of an enormous life challenge. You can only but be inspired by her story, and it’s a great reminder to all of us to keep things in perspective, when we complain about some of the lesser problems we have in day to day life. I see that one of their friends has also posted (Sept 17) and is requesting sponsorship for his 700 km bike ride starting this weekend, with all funds raised going towards Sam and her family, if you’d like to add your support.
Anyway, that said, me and my new bosoms really seem quite insignificant now … but I am very pleased to report that I feel like I have turned a corner this week. I had some really difficult days early in the week. Felt woozy and sad for myself. Then I decided to take some baby steps with the tools that had helped me so well pre-surgery. So I started doing some short meditations at night again. And have taken a few brief walks in the mornings along our street, picking some jasmine along the way. Slowly I’ve started to feel more like myself again.
Then on Wednesday, when I was feeling particularly glum, my dear friend Louise suggested to me that I get out my coloured pens and draw something (anything!) while sitting out in the sun. I’d not started painting again because it just felt like too much of an effort to even set it all up, but a simple drawing, well, that I could try! Even just finding all of my pens felt good, and once I sat with one of Lou’s old drawing pads on my lap, it felt great! With my music in my ears and the sun on my back, lo and behold, I was drawing again and I can not tell you how good that felt! I am back!!! Not 100% energy levels, but it has made me feel so much more like me!
The other thing I have realized is that that heavy pain killers (one of which is Endone, which is morphine) while very effective, were making me even more tired, and just a bit spaced out too. So I have cut that back (I was on a low dose anyway) and I feel way better by substituting the lighter weight painkillers and Panadol during the day, leaving just ½ an Endone tablet to get me through the night.
So I continue to make progress – tiny baby steps! I’ve realized that pain killers just keep the pain out (essential!) but they don’t make you feel good. That bit you have to do for yourself! I love my trusty self soothing resources, and feel like I’ve taken a small leap forward in my recovery.
And, as I continue to remind myself, the discomfort is temporary. This too shall pass. It’s all good!